Getting through

Okay, after almost two months (two months!) I'm definitely in the acceptance phase. All my routines now revolve around the strike. I can hardly remember anything about my job. I have no idea whether my work clothes fit me any more, because I just put on jeans every morning. And I don't feel bitter at all these days. I know the situation is ridiculous, suspect that we have been out for so long because of some kind of perfect storm of personalities and/or circumstances on both sides, and that there is really no excuse for it. But at the same time I'm now in a phase of not being very upset, because I've almost completely adjusted to my new life as a striking librarian.

The thing is that I'm lucky, because my partner is still working, and we can borrow money for a while until all this gets settled. My family won't go hungry. We'll be in debt, but okay. (At the same time I only have to remember the days when I was single and renting to feel myself starting to panic. Vicariously, for now. Just how understanding can landlords be? And the utilities companies? And what about food? Gas? Even liquor?)

But I try not to think about this too much, mainly because my mental health seems to depend on:
- not thinking at all about the bargaining process
- not thinking (too much) about why we're on strike in the first place
- not thinking about all the stuff we're *not* doing right now
- staying away from bitter, depressing, or angry conversations (or people)
- not thinking about money
- not thinking about my job at all (and especially about what it will be like to go back)
- just making the most out of all this, whether it's chatting with colleagues on the picket line, having a bit of extra time with my daughter, or trying to make myself useful to the union (because yes, it still does feel good to be useful)

Ask any therapist--denial does occasionally have its uses! Especially when you are essentially powerless, and want to get through a bad experience with your spirit intact.

Or that's my theory.