Complexities

Today was a holiday in BC, but we picketed, even though the library would have been closed anyhow. At my local branch, we fell into our usual laid-back routine of chatting, reading, and--in my case--playing guitar and singing, although with fewer picketers than usual, and without our crafting contigent. (The union blog had mistakenly listed the wrong picket times--later corrected--and it was supposed to be a long weekend, after all.) I guess on some level it makes sense that we should only get a long weekend if we've actually been working, but somehow this was yet another disappointment, to be at the library and yet not accomplishing anything on a statutory holiday.

This morning a few of us talked about how we are gradually getting used to the strange grey existence of being on strike. We talked about how we seem to have our mushy holiday brains, but nothing about our days on the picket line feels like a holiday. (Last night my father-in-law made the mistake of asking me how my vacation was going. Wow. I think I'm still recovering from that.) And although--in theory--I have several extra hours in the day, in reality the disruption of the usual routine of days off and shift times means that I have to rejig child care, and that I get fewer days with my family.

I don't think any of us are doing what we usually would these days. There were hardly any of us library workers in the Gay Pride Parade yesterday, and those who were--including me--just disappeared into the larger union groups that were there. Last night I went to the Odd Ball--another Pride event--and saw only three fellow library folks. (Last year I was pretty sure I was dancing with more than three at any one time.) I can't say whether it's because we're broke, our usual mass communications system (library email) isn't available to us, or whether we're just plain worn out and discouraged, but clearly it's not just our work lives that have become complicated and difficult.

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The good news is that over the weekend our union executive and library management began talking to each other again. It may be too soon to start looking for a back-to-work date, but the mood on the picket line--and amongst my library Facebook friends--has visibly improved. Last week, when it looked as if the next possible meeting was still days and days away, it was hard not to feel discouraged. No, "discouraged" is far too mild a word. I felt insignificant and ignored. And it didn't help to realise that the delays were nothing to do with me (or us) personally, but were all about politics and other things happening on a larger scale and at a great distance--in fact that was exactly what made me feel so unimportant. I guess I've been lucky: in all my years at the library, even when I was an entry-level library assistant, I've always felt like an individual, with my own feelings and opinions and ability to affect the workplace (even when my colleagues and supervisors didn't agree with me). I understand that it is necessary for everyone in this dispute to--temporarily--lose our individual voices in order to stand together for our cause, but the fact that it's necessary doesn't make it any easier. Sigh.