We work hard to keep our morale up, that's for sure. Our union has put on barbeques, a benefit concert, and puppet shows. Unlike the other striking workers I've seen over the years, we aren't generally out there with enraged or beaten-down expressions on our faces. In fact we look pretty cheery on the picket lines.
But we're not. Chatting with my fellow striking union member I've discovered that back at home we're *all* drinking too much, bickering with our partners, doing things like refusing to get out of bed or bursting into tears for no reason, and suffering from a crippling lack of self-esteem that makes updating our resumes--so that we can apply for those rare jobs in other library systems--really hard. (The possible exceptions are the lucky few who have already found other jobs, even part-time. They still have some sense of their value, I guess, as well as a better chance at paying the bills.)
Yes, I'm feeling pretty fragile. My young daughter--seeing my face after yet another discouraging report on the radio news--gave me a hug and said that she still loves me even if I'm on the picket line. My husband told me that, never fear, he is right behind me with whatever I want to do with my life now. (Although I don't think that includes going back to school for yet another post-graduate degree!)
Most of us will be back at work someday. I wonder what kind of people we will be when that happens.
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thank you for putting into words how difficult this situation is for all of us. I've meant to comment on your last posts but honestly could not manage words. I'm either too depressed, too confused and too frustrated. I was particularly dejected this morning while purchasing a cookie (with a $10 bill I found in my jeans pocket) when a man approached my about my "I heart pay equity" button. He told me he worked at the CBC and knew how I was feeling. When I told him how crappy I felt at that moment he related all the good things that had happened to him on the CBC picket line - like meeting people who worked in different areas and developing friendships that continue to make his work days more enjoyable. He talked about the many members on the public that gave their support. But most of all he left me with the feeling that it was all worth it in the end.
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